When Toddlers Attack
February 18th, 2008Thank goodness the writer’s strike is over! Finally the networks can regain some of their class and dignity. I can’t wait for the new CSI and Law and Order spinoffs to drop this spring. Anyway, before the strike was resolved, Fox contacted me about a reality show about my adventures with the paparazzi. Here are some snippets from the pilot.
Here I am trying to enjoy a peaceful Crayola moment when a pushy cameraman gets all in my business.
So I gave him some Russell Crowe action….that’s pretty much the premise.
Since the pilot was mostly exposition and character setup, that’s the only real action in that episode. However, episode 2 is all filler, so of course it’s chock full of meaningless cameraman vengeance.
So, again here I am out trying to enjoy myself with a couple of my closest friends. (Yes, my closest friends are books)
Uh oh, I’ve spotted the paparazzi. Of course, I’m tanked on half a sippy cup of Lactaid at this point, so I’m about to go coke-raged Sean Penn on this one…
Anyway, after I sold the idea for the show, the producers stepped in with a twist that changed up the endings of my episodes. Instead me pummelling the nosy phototographers beyond recognition with my own combination of Jeet Kune Do and Baby Yoga….
They thought I should smile and ham it up for the cameras. Apparently there is a larger demographic out there who want to see me smile. But trust me, I haven’t sold out. There’s a market out there for hard-hitting toddler drama and I’m going to corner it soon. You’ll see.
Piglet Out.