Jimmy Hank and KG

JH: Hello everybody! Welcome to the first class! I have a fun experiment in store for you today. As you all probably know, I love crayons, coloring, and generally creating beauty on paper. Whether I am abstracting my emotions into vibrant squiggles and loops or freely interpreting the outline of a hand, I just love putting the essence of universal truth into 16 colors of wax simplicity. Anyway, today my plan is to create a masterpiece out of the collaborative efforts of all the Jimmy Hankers in the class today. [Phrrrt]

[Potty break]

JH: Sorry about that. Anyway, who wants to get us started? Let’s all just share some emotions, somebody tell me what they are thinking about right now. Anybody?

Voices in classroom: Unicorns! Leprechauns…Ninjas?

JH: Anything? Anyone at all?

Voices: Chocolate Chip Cookies?

JH: So, anyone BESIDES dad? No? Okay, I’ll just start…

JH: Okay, so right now I’m just breaking up the page, there’s nothing more intimidating than a blank page. Already I’m liking what we’ve created. Who has a creative suggestion? Guide my gifted hands. This isn’t my work it’s OURS. Anyone?

Voice in class: How about you change colors to break up the blue a little?

JH: What’s wrong with blue?!

Voice: Um, nothing…

JH: Okay then.

JH: Oh wow, this is really coming together. The ideas are just flowing out of everyone here, not just me but mostly me, and I am channeling those ideas into something special. But, I want to reiterate I can’t do this alone up here. Well…I CAN, but I don’t want to. Somebody give me a hand here… NO. Not literally, please stand back.

Voice in crowd: Try some orange, it would really pop off the page.

JH: Orange? Hmm…that’s huge. Collossal. Anyone not devoid of common sense want to chime in? I mean I don’t come down to where you work and slap the mundane office supplies out of your hands do I, cubicle donkey? Okay then, we’re sticking with blue. Anyone else got a “touch of genius”? No? Okay, I’ll just do it myself then…

JH: This is crap. It’s just a page of meaningless scribbles. Nice work everyone. You’ve sucked the life out of my genius. I don’t know if even I can fix this. Who’s crying?! There’s no crying in art! Everyone out!!

[Weeping continues…chairs shuffling…people filing out]

JH: Aaaaaaand SCENE! Everyone come back! I was just demonstrating how I WOULD have taught the class if I was King Henry VIII. You guys are silly! Somebody get dad a tissue, please

Piglet out.