The Mysterious Events of Jan 3rd
January 7th, 2008Hello, Jimmy Hankers, it’s Matt. James has allowed me to post this web entry in his stead since unfortunately for him (and perhaps for all of mankind), he has no recollection of this incident. Luckily, I keep tediously copious notes of every mundane happening in his life. Instead of trying to tell this like a story and inadvertantly taint the facts with my personal opinion of the borderline religious occurance I witnessed, let me simply paste in my journal notes from the event…
January 3, 2008 15:29.27: James and Parke arrive home from their weekly trip to the grocery store.
January 3, 2008 15:29.58: Placing the grocery bags on the kitchen floor, Parke begins putting away the recent purchases. Seemingly interested in helping, James starts looking through the sacks as well.
January 3, 2008 15:31.24: Having not heard anything from the usually squealing child, Parke turns her attention from the various refrigerator-bound fruits and vegetables to her son. However, the sight of the child is so terrifying she faints dead away into a pile mouse-proof food bins (she’s fine). Here is what she sees:
January 3, 2008 15:31.28: With lips moving soundlessly, eyes blinking rapidly and hands moving with never before displayed dexterity, James seems to be motivated with all consuming passion. His focus is that of a an astronaut who’s lost his main computers and has to correct his trajectory by firing the rockets manually, knowing a misstep here could send him and his two other shipmates hurtling off into space forever.
January 3, 2008 15:32.12: Sweaty, exhausted, pushed beyond his physical limits, James releases the third yogurt cup on top of the, perhaps extraterrestrially inspired, architectural masterpiece.
January 3, 2008 15:32:22: James utters the words that haunt my dreams to this day: “This means something. This is important…” Technically he says nothing, but his eyes communicate these words almost exactly.
January 3, 2008 15:33.03: James passes gas. It smells like beef and mushrooms. He has eaten NEITHER.
January 3, 2008 15:33.35: Suddenly spotting the most important element in the structural blueprints being transmitted directly to his mind by a brain laser of unknown though most certainly alien origin, James holds the item up for all to acknowledge. Finally breaking his unearthly silence, he is heard to exclaim: “Mmmmmmmm!”
I’ll let you draw your own conclusions about James’ odd behavior for those 3 minutes of January third. I only wish a third party could verify for you my absolutely accurate and unbiased journal entries. James and Parke remain skeptical to this day of my “version of the story” as they call it. Don’t let them sway you with the argument that I was at work 15 miles away in White Plains at the time, that’s just stinking thinking….
Matt Out.
p.s. I think it was aliens.