Mmmm…That Tree Smells Like Gin
January 13th, 2007
So, I’m enjoying a delightful little nap the other day when Mom and Granmama awaken me for my first ever Christmas tree decorating.
Initially the idea of a thing from NATURE living indoors, especially while we slept, frightened me. However…
Mom explained that the tree was actually dead, or at least mortally wounded, but we were keeping it fresh with daily transfusions. I immediately thought of Bub from George A. Romero’s Day of the Dead. Zombie trees are the worst…no brain.
Since the zombie tree is fettered by a claw-like “stand,” and it’s arms are tethered to the wall with strands of lights, Mom explains it is safe to taunt the zombie tree by hanging goofy ornaments on it. Didn’t anyone here see 28 Days Later? This thing’s going to escape, people…they ALWAYS do.
Don’t turn your back on it for a second, mom. Vigilance is the key!